to anonymous: everything i write can go unanswered, but i certainly don't mind people commenting. i'm not looking for advice, but i'm not going to stop anyone from saying what they'd like to. i love voicing my opinion and i love hearing others do the same. so comment on, but i would prefer to know who you are so i can reply directly to you and not in my blog. :) at any rate, i was never suggesting i wanted to breath things into existance, nor am i disgusted with myself. i just realize there's more to do and i need to figure out how to do it. as i was sitting writing that post, i was honestly feeling nothing. i have thoughts, but that's all they were, i was not feeling them. maybe i was having difficulty finding the right words after all (?)